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1
Smile. It is the first arrow and the fastest of them
all. It is like the salt for food. It is also regarded as a kind of
alms-giving as is mentioned in a
hadith
"Smiling at your brother's face is as charity (Sadaqa)" (Jami
Tirmidhi). "Abdullah ibn al Harith tells us about the Prophet (PBUH)
saying that he had never seen someone smile at the other's face as the
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used to do" (Jami Tirmidhi).
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2
Be the one who initiates greetings first. This arrow
is the one that lets you to be in the innermost depths of the others
hearts. This arrow needs a skillful shooter. The needed skills are the
hearty smile, the warm shaking of hands and the friendly welcoming to
the other. Being successfully achieved, such kinds of skills are going
to be rewarded, referring to the
hadith: "Those who are nearest to Allah are they who are first to give a salutation " (Jami Tirmidhi). According to a
hadith
of Anas when people of Yemen came the Prophet (PBUH) said , " The
people of Yemen are approaching and they have softer hearts than yours'.
(Anas said) " They are the first who came with hand shaking". (Sunan
Abu Dawud and Adb ul Mufarad)
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3
Exchange presents. It has a strange charming
affection that captivates all senses. Hence, exchanging presents and
gifts in different occasions is a pleasant habit however gifts should be
within one's tolerable expenses. Aa’ishah (RA) said: "The Messenger of
Allaah used to accept gifts and reward people for giving them." (Sahih
Bukhari)
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4
Say something Good or remain silent. Loud voice and
chattering are bad merits. You have to be sweet-worded, tender in
expressing yourself. A good word has its own magic in winning the hearts
of your enemies, how powerfully it would work then with your brothers'
hearts!! "Repel (Evil) with what is better: Then will he between whom
and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate " (Surah
Fussilat 41:34) .The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and
the Last Day should speak good or be silent" (Mawtta Imam Malik). Abu
Abdullah Jadali reported that he asked Sayyidah Aisha (RA) about the
manners of Allah’s Messenger She said, He was never indecent of speech
or of manners. He never spoke loudly in the markets. And, he never
returned evil with evil, but he forgave and overlooked.’ (Jami Tirmidhi)
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5
Be a good listener. Listen patiently and never
interrupt the speaker, as the Prophet (PBUH) never interrupted a speaker
till he ended his speech. And he who fights for this merit gains others
love and admiration, whilst on the contrary is the one who chatters and
interrupts the other.
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6
Have a neat appearance and dress well. You have to be
careful with your appearance so as to be neat, well–dressed and sweet
smelling as well. The Prophet (PBUH) says that "Allaah is beautiful and
he love beauty" (Masnad Ahmed).
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7
Be in others' favor and help them. Good treatment
classifies you as an obedient, beloved slave of Allah. Allah says in the
Qur'an: "And spend of your substance in the cause of Allah, and make
not your own hands contribute to (your own) destruction; but do good;
for Allah loveth those who do good"(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:195). Sayyidina
Abu Dharr (RA) reported that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said, “Your smile
your brother is a sadaqah for you, and your enjoining piety and
forbidding evil is a sadaqah. Your guiding one who is lost on the land
is a sadaqah for you. Your leading the blind is a sadaqah for you. Your
removing from the thoroughfare a stone, a thorn or a bone is for you a
sadaqah. And, your filling with your bucket the bucket of your brother
is a sadaqah for you." (Jami Tirmidhi)
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8
Be generous. Offering money is the key for most of
the closed doors that hinder you from reaching others hearts, especially
in these days. Now I will tell you a story about the magic of the merit
of generosity. In the conquest of Makkah, there was a man called
"Safwan Ibn Umia". That man ran away after making all possible means in
keeping the people of Islam and after making conspiracies to kill the
Prophet (PBUH). Later on, the Prophet (PBUH) forgave him and he came
back asking the Prophet (PBUH) to give him the time of two months to
think about Islam and the Prophet (PBUH) said, "You can take four
months, not just two". In spite of being an atheist, he accompanied the
Prophet (PBUH) in the Hunain and Al Ta'if conquests. In Al Ta`if, while
the Prophet (PBUH) was dividing the booties of the war, he noticed that
man looking longingly to a vast land in which a large number of cattle
were flocking. The Prophet (PBUH) asked him, "Do you like it?" The man
eagerly answered "Yes." The Prophet (PBUH) said, "It is for you then."
Safwan said, "Only a prophet could behave as generously as you have. I
believe that there is no god but Allaah and that Muhammad is His
Prophet." Notice how the Prophet (PBUH) found the missing key and
succeeded in moving his heart. Some people behave stingily as if they
see the ghost of poverty waiting to attack them once they think about
being generous in offering money.
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9
Have a good opinion of others and give them an excuse.
Keeping an eye on others behavior is a bad merit that blocks your way
to their hearts. On the contrary is to have a good opinion of them. So,
try hard to give your brothers the excuse as much as you can. Concerning
this merit, Ibn Al Mubarak says, "The believer is he who gives his
brothers the excuse, and the hypocrite is he who seeks their slips."
Quran says " O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible):
for suspicion in some cases is a sin: And spy not on each other behind
their backs." (Surah Hujraat 49:12)
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10
Express your feelings. If you love someone, or have
good feelings about him, don't wait, just tell him at once. Regarding
this Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said, “If one of you loves his brother, let
him inform him about it.” (Sahih Bukhari) Prophet (PBUH) also said " A
good dream is from Allah, so if anyone of you saw a dream which he
liked, he should not tell it to anybody except to the one whom he
loves." (Sahih Bukhari)
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